#89 Monday Mindset – Don’t Take It Personally – Agreement II

#89 Monday Mindset – Don’t Take It Personally – Agreement II

What stories are we telling oursef?

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Episode Description

“𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲” – 𝐀𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐈𝐈, Don Miguel Ruiz

In his book 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐀𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 (𝐀 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐦), author Don Miguel Ruiz suggest that we must make an agreement with ourselves to not take anything personally.

𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐓𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐄𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐏𝐨𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐎𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 @𝐝𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 - Links below

When we think of taking things personally, we often think of receiving criticism from another person or some external event the we feel is happening to us specifically because of us. We tell ourselves some version of the story that 𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠. In that moment we are acting on an overdeveloped sense of Personal Importance. Taking the words or actions of others as personal to us is actually an extreme expression of selfishness.

We are making it about all about ourselves when it may have nothing to do with us at all. We may hear feedback from another person as judgment or as criticism because we each process what we hear through our awareness of our flaws, weaknesses, and insecurities. We are not affected emotionally by what is actually said, but rather by our interpretation which is formed by our beliefs.

Taking things personally is a direct result of the stories we tell ourselves and what we ultimately believe about ourselves. We believe a story about ourselves and their words touch an emotional wound that causes pain. We create a narrative of what the person meant with their words rather than what they actually said.

Notice how many words refer to SELF in this description?

𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤:

Are we being selfish and taking things personally?

What story do we have a habit of reliving when we take things personally?

What are the cues that cause me the or remember this story?

What is my usually reaction to this story and

how can I respond differently instead?

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